I Guess I'm Actually Doing This
TEN HOWs:
How did you get one of your scars?
Stabbing a Pringles can and it went into my hand. How did you celebrate your last birthday?
At an arcade with a ton of friends. I felt so loved. How are you feeling at this moment?
Exhausted/bloated/okay with everything How did your night go last night?
Taught a small nook class, ate a lot of grain salad, and watched Chopped. So, well. How did you do in high school?
Fine enough to get the paper. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
Went with Nathan to Bleeding Heart and met Johnny Cupcakes. How often do you see ur best friend?
I see the majority of my best friends pretty often. How much money did you spend last month?
Hahahahaha
How old do you want to be when you get married?
IDGAF
How old will you be at your next birthday?
Quarter of a century
NINE WHATs:
Your mothers name?
Mary Ellen What did you do last weekend?
Ate pizza, saw T&HT, read, stole a lot of music from teh webz. What is the most important part of your life?
Too many pillars to my being to spew off. What would you rather be doing?
Resting or holding someone. What did you last cry over?
My Dad What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
Cookies for a second, then sleep. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
Kindness, Understanding, Hygeine. What are you worried about?
College What did you have for breakfast?
12-Grain Bread w/ Pumpkin Jam, Chocolate Peanut Butter Vanilla Bean Steel Cut Oatmeal w/ Walnuts, Capital Letters.
EIGHT HAVE YOUs:
Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
We all have. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
Yup. Have you ever been out of the country?
Nope. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
No, never.
Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
If I have, I’ve forgotten about it. Who hangs onto that stuff?
Have you ever had sex on the beach?
No. Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
Only. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Yes.
SEVEN WHOs:
Who was the last person you saw?
Buzz Who was the last person you texted?
Rachel Who was the last person you hungout with?
Clare Who was the last person to call you?
Jon Who did you last hug?
Buzz Who is the last person who texted you?
Clare
Who was the las person you said “i love you” to?
Clare or my Mom
SIX WHEREs:
Where does your best friend live?
All are within 30 miles of me. Where did you last go?
In the sink. Where did you last hang out?
My house. Where do you go to school?
In books. Where is your favorite place to be?
I like new places, but I guarantee it’s not Subway. Where did you sleep last night?
Mah bed.
FIVE DOs/DOES:
Do you like someone right now?
Always do. Do you think anyone likes you?
The tumbleweed on my face should stop that, but probably. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
What’s the point? Do you know the muffin man?
If his name is Carl, I don’t. Does the future scare you?
Not at all. What happens, happens. Adapt. Outlast.
FOUR WHYs:
Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)?
Because we make lots of sexual jokes and say how much we hate ourselves after them. Why did you get a myspace?
Pahaha Why did your parents give you the name you have?
Beloved. Why are you doing this survey?
I was hoping that by doing this survey, I would be able to pay off current family medical debts, credit card debts, and find better batteries for portable technologies.
THREE IFs:
If you could have one super power what would it be?
Teleportation If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
Not a chance. If u were stranded on a deserted island & could bring one thing what would you bring?
A bag full of a lot of other things.
TWO WOULD-YOU-EVERs:
Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
Depends. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
Who says no to this?
ONE LAST QUESTION
Are you happy with your life right now?
No reason not to be. I’m surrounded by love.
I Won’t Let Go, I Won’t Let Go. Even If You Say So, Oh No.
There’s a saying: “If you love something, set it free; If it comes back, it’s yours.” It’s the hope this offers that's been attempting to keep me sane through these days. Never in a million years would I have guessed that on the night we stopped dating, I would drive away with a smile on my face and a lack of worry in my over-swollen chest.
We talked for just over two hours in my warm car on her slanted driveway. My gas gauge ran lower and the time spent together there was in close correlation to the number of days we dated.
We just spoke about it all. The crying was therapeutic, but not as much as the simple conversation and understanding of what was going on in our hearts and our heads.
She says that she couldn’t string me along any longer. That she couldn’t be selfish that way. That I deserve the same freedom she’s gained from this break. I don’t need it–I need her–but if she needs it, then it’s second best and I’ll take it. Whatever makes her happy. (I’d do anything to hold her hand again.)
I appreciate the thought though. Staying true to herself, it’s admirable and empathetic. I know too that I would feel like “not only am I hurting my best friend, which is a burden alone, but I’m losing all the people connected to him that I’ve grown to love too – Family, friends, etc.” That’s not the case though. I know my family and friends aren’t assholes and wouldn’t let something between the two of us get in the way of their friendship. At least it shouldn’t. It’s not necessary. Her and I are still friends. Maybe one day we will end up back together. Maybe we won’t. I hope that we do and honestly believe my love for her is steadfast and unconditional. (It's love, after all.) There may be a billion women on this planet and I’m sure a large majority of them could make me happy, but nothing will be like what we had/have and I don’t want to give that up. Not for any one of those women. It's not worth it.
One thing she brought up was that she now feels comfortable in her skin. That’s just amazing music to my soul. She’s made connections with people she hadn’t earlier. According to some people though, she was just “Dave’s girlfriend” before. Now, that’s not my fault or hers at all, but I feel guilty nevertheless. No one wants that stigma for their significant other. I’m happy to hear that people are getting to know Clare like I know Clare. What a wonderful human unlike anyone else. She is so beautiful. I can’t describe it to you. Words don’t begin to explain.
She is still my best friend without a doubt. It was so hard not sharing every moment of my day with her for the past month and a half. It felt like I had to wait for her to ask even though she would have listened had I began talking.
I can’t help but feel like a part of me is missing though. "How can a heart come from two separate organs?" There’s a scar on my part from all this and I wouldn't doubt the same resides on the other half 5 miles away. But scar tissue heals stronger. It has to in order to survive. I am a good person and, I think, a great catch. Let's hold hope that this is just temporary. I was always there for her in good times and bad and I'll continue to be. Trust me, I’m happy that she can do this internally now with a level head, but there’s a puzzle piece missing inside me and it’s sitting in a snow globe on my desk in the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen.
I soaked my gloves in tears tonight and wiped her mascara ridden ones away. We hugged and I swear to you she’s never felt more right between my arms.
I Still Love You – xoxo
Tweetie 2 Good 2 Be 2rue
A couple months ago though, subpar-IMO Tweetie came out with Tweetie 2 and oh how the blogs were ablaze with praise. It didn't phase me though — I didn't believe anything could be better than listening to that bluebird sing when new posts came to my feed. But there was one, glaring problem with Twitteriffic and that was its lack of a landscape keyboard.You see, I came from a Sidekick 2008 and before that, a Sidekick iD. I had widescreen, QWERTY typing instilled into my text messaging brain and thumbs. Big, physical buttons for big, not-technically-finger appendages. Typing in portrait, on a touchscreen at that, is a hassle. I've gotten better at vertical pecking (no homo), but when 3.0 was released, the feature I was most excited about was landscape typing. So I says to myself, I says "Hmm, well Tweetie 2 does that... If everyone in TechBlogosphere is so excited for this app, I'll shell out $3, bring lunch to work one day, and give it a go."(BOOM, you are now two days ahead in time. Hurl bags are in the pocket in front of you.) Well fuck me, I can't believe I waited so long. It is just beautiful! When Johnny Ive designed the iPhone, the blokes who made Tweetie 2 must have latched their SDK to his brain (via FireWire, duh) and matched the sex factor to a T. Tweetie 2 is the quintesential iPhone app. It's simple, flawless, functional, and has a classic sort of pretty like my girlfriend had on her prom night*. It has landscape and candy canes and Red Vines and blue lights and all things good. If Tweetie 2 had a scent, it would be a vanilla candle. It is so utterly delicious, you want to bite into its waxy, glass body and savor the sweetness. It's so comfortable and inviting, but so cool and collected at the same time, you want to ask it out on a date. You know it'll say no though, not because it's a bunch of 1s and 0s, but because it's not really on your level now, is it?
Tweetie 2, despite its lame Hollywood sequel name, should come preloaded on OS 4.0. Fuck, it should come on 3.1.3. Apple should buy this company and have them fix the UI that I didn't think was in any state of needing repair. So if you aren't loading up your App Store or iTunes right now and telling yourself you'll just skip that Soy Pumpkin Chai next time, you are doing a disservice to — I'm just gonna go ahead and say it — all the narwhals in the world. It's a scientific law that they will lose their tusks if you don't ditch Echofone or Twitteriffic or whatever fucking stupid Twitter client you have for the absolute clean grace and poise of Tweetie 2. * For the record, my girlfriend still has that classic beauty. Points!
In Regards to The Internet and Guilt
The Internet and Guilt
It's a routine I've gotten into. But seriously, is it that much different than reading a newspaper? Let's see; Opinions, technology, politics, sales flyers, comics — check, check, check, check, check. You even read both in coffee houses. J.D. posted an article on "Infobesity" a little while ago. I could see how I'd fall into that category, but if I read the newspaper everyday, that wouldn't be frowned upon at all. Bookmarks, Blogs, and RSS feeds. We just make efficency easy.
AT&T U-Curse
In my entire life, I've never had cable TV. It took my stuborn father something silly like three years to even update from 56k to high speed Internet. (Back then, I had to anticipate masturbation. I'd have to hope I found a video, wait a very long time for it to load, and then, sorry, unload.)
Ever since the digital transition on June 12th, we have had trouble getting TV signal correctly. My parents spend a lot of time at night watching the tube in their respective recliners with their tired feet up; They have their programs programmed out. The interruped signal got so bad that my father called AT&T to schedule for U-verse. (Sidebar: How bad is that name? Come on.) On Tuesday at 9:30 am, AT&T called to say they'd be coming out to our house. We didn't know it, but ComEd was doing some electrical testing and upgrades that day too and at 9:45 am, our power went out. AT&T came and went because they said they couldn't do any work without electricity. I know they could have looked around and got a plan all flushed out, but I'll throw them a bone and let it slide. The next day, a single guy comes to hook up five rooms of cable and one room of Ethernet. Well, that didn't happen. The guy they sent out was nice and knew how to navigate through the TV menus, but I'm fairly sure I know more about electricity and wiring than he does. Good thing my dad was home. If it weren't for him, we might have it all done by next week (read: unacceptable.) Flash forward to AT&T-Guy running wire in the attic above my parents' room and my Dad sitting on the bed. Step, step, FOOT. THROUGH. THE. CEILING.
